helbow

Four Years of Hurt

Fri, 12 Jun 2009 15:25:36 -0400

Hurty Elbow began as a small joke web log in 2005. It grew into a fairly successful comedy site and drew traffic from Gawker Media, Boing Boing, and Buzzfeed, but links have slowed. After an …

Joe Avella's Wheelchair Werewolf

Sat, 02 May 2009 07:14:52 -0400

Joe Avella's Wheelchair Werewolf:

The trailer for the as yet, un-produced horror flick Wheelchair Werewolf is brought to you by Chicago comedy creator Joe Avella*. “Joe Avella is an independent filmmaker, actor, writer,…

Stop sharing EVERYTHING.

Tue, 21 Apr 2009 05:14:24 -0400

Stop sharing EVERYTHING.:

The internet is trivial. A barrage of constant updates intended to entertain, educate, and provoke. Instead we’re buried under massive amounts of data. We’re not that interesting.

Great…

Submarine Style Baseball Pitchers

Fri, 17 Apr 2009 05:14:16 -0400

Submarine Style Baseball Pitchers:

Most pitchers bring the heat overhand, but some athletes are forced to get creative. Chad Bradford has been an MLB pitcher for over a decade. His unusual approach to pitching was suggested by his…

Hedge Fund Productions

Fri, 10 Apr 2009 03:14:13 -0400

Hedge Fund Productions:

A hedge fund blesses souls with obscene wealth. It spoils them with lavish cheese spreads, underwater yachts, and replacement hair made of pure silk. The Brooklyn apartment based Claude S. Dutchy,…

Unpossible Uses for Twitter

Thu, 02 Apr 2009 23:13:16 -0400

Unpossible Uses for Twitter:

You broadcast your every move to the world on Twitter, but to avoid embarrassment you probably purchase family planning at the self checkout. Twitter tells the world what you’re doing, but it can’t…

Killer Murdering Sharks Attack School

Tue, 24 Mar 2009 21:12:45 -0400

Killer Murdering Sharks Attack School:

A large pack of killer deadly murdering sharks were caught attacking a school of baitfish off Gold Coast beaches in Australia. Swimming with dolphins sounds delightful; swimming with baitfish looks…

Arby's Roastburgers Aren't Burgers

Thu, 12 Mar 2009 18:52:31 -0400

Arby's Roastburgers Aren't Burgers:

Arby’s Roastburgers are misleading. The tagline is “Never fried. Never greasy. It’s the burger done better.” Only it’s not a burger. It can’t do anything burger-related better, because it’s the…

Clever Gifts for Strange Shoppers

Tue, 10 Mar 2009 20:26:48 -0400

Clever Gifts for Strange Shoppers:

The economy in the U.S. is doing poorly, so if possible, make sure to buy overseas.Cassette tape shaped tape dispenser.Frozen Smiles. Ice cube trays in the shape of dentures. Suggestive Keyholders…

Hurtful Comics: Historic Time Sinks

Mon, 23 Feb 2009 17:52:19 -0500

Hurtful Comics: Historic Time Sinks:

Your leisure activity is a waste of time in someone’s eyes. Like spending a weekend on a comic when you don’t read comics and don’t expect anyone else to. A waste of time is also pondering…

Super Mario Cubeecraft & Friends

Fri, 13 Feb 2009 15:36:24 -0500

Super Mario Cubeecraft & Friends:

Model cars were the worst. Breaking bits of plastic off a giant grid and gluing them together alone in your room while other children who had friends played outside. What a bummer.

Cubeecraft…

Head Tattoos are the New Twitter

Tue, 13 Jan 2009 12:08:17 -0500

Head Tattoos are the New Twitter:

Tattoos are semi-permanent (they decompose when you die), but tattoos are still an important decision. Have you given any thought to getting a tattoo on your head?

Imagine sitting comfortably in a…

Happy Hollandaise!

Fri, 19 Dec 2008 17:08:24 -0500

Happy Hollandaise!:

Happy Hollandaise from HurtyElbow.com!

Thanks for all your clicks and links this past year. Now go spread the good joy of hollandaise sauce all over those around you this hollandaise…

World of Goo!

Tue, 09 Dec 2008 14:35:34 -0500

World of Goo!:

World of Goo is a quirky puzzle game from 2D Boy for the PC/Mac/Wii. Through 5 frenetic chapters you connect goo with more goo to build structures (bridges, towers, whatever) to help…

is it just me or is everything...

Tue, 11 Nov 2008 20:55:43 -0500

is it just me or is everything...:

Shit. You complain about everything. “My Starbucks was too frappy.” “My iPod stopped working!” “My dog died.” Isn’t it time someone took those complaints off your facebook/twitter/other…

Gallery of Presidential Losers (U.S.A.)

Mon, 03 Nov 2008 15:35:13 -0500

Gallery of Presidential Losers (U.S.A.):

They were almost Presidents. Instead they became the forgotten few who lost to Abraham Lincoln and Franklin D. Roosevelt.

Surprisingly, the runner-ups were overwhelmingly white. Facial hair was…

Painfully Simple Online Games

Wed, 22 Oct 2008 18:17:10 -0400

Painfully Simple Online Games:

In ascending order of simplicity.

Get to the Finish
Don’t shoot the puppy [15 Levels.]
Hold the Button
Paddle Ball
Dodge [Touch the square, not red circles.]
…

The Biggest Loser Uncensored!

Thu, 09 Oct 2008 15:42:10 -0400

The Biggest Loser Uncensored!:

NBC’s The Biggest Loser has seen individuals, couples, and families lose
weight and change their lives. Now it’s time to see them change their
clothes. Introducing The Biggest Loser Uncensored!
Go…

Koko Loco

Mon, 29 Sep 2008 21:58:27 -0400

Koko Loco:

Beware the crazy pug Koko.

watch at youtube | watch at vimeo

A Note On Something That's Probably Going To Bother Me All Day

Fri, 19 Sep 2008 14:04:08 -0400

marklisanti:

Why didn’t TMZ go with “P. Doody”? Seems like that should’ve been right in their wheelhouse.

Buzzfeed has it covered.